Recovery from sexual violence – a journey that begins with safety

Violence is often perpetrated by acquaintances or people close to the victim. In such cases, the pain is intensified by the feeling of betrayal. Reactions from others can cause additional trauma: “You’re the one to blame,” “Why are you even talking about it?” “Keep quiet, forget, and move on.” Such words only deepen the trauma instead of providing support.

1. Safety. Creating an environment where the person feels no threat.
2. Regaining control. Restoring the sense that “I can manage my own life.”
3. Processing the trauma. Allowing oneself to feel emotions, name them, and express them.
4. Finding meaning. Forming a new vision of oneself and the future.

Recovery from sexual violence happens faster and more safely when there are people nearby who accept, support, and give the survivor the feeling that they are not left alone with their trauma. The survivor needs acceptance without judgment, acknowledgment of their experience, support in deciding whether to speak or remain silent, whether to go to the police or not, and professional help from a psychologist.

The reaction of loved ones can either ease the recovery process or, on the contrary, make it even more painful. Very often, victims remain silent precisely because they fear being judged or rejected. That is why the role of those close to them is extremely important.

• Believe the survivor’s words. Doubts and questions like “Are you sure?” cause pain.
• Listen without pressure. Let them speak as much as they are ready to. Silence is also okay.
• Acknowledge the pain. A simple “It was really hard for you. I can see you’re suffering” is already support.
• Support their choices. They decide whether to file a report, see a psychologist, or tell others.
• Offer specific help: “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” or “I can go with you to the doctor.”
• Keep it confidential – share their experience only with their explicit permission.
• Encourage professional support – a psychologist, crisis center, or support group.

“You are not to blame for what happened.”
“I’m here. You can count on me.”
“Your feelings matter.”
“You have the right to decide what to do next.”
“I believe you.”

– do not blame (“why did you go there?”, “you should have fought back”);

– do not force them to forget (“stop thinking about it,” “time heals”);

– do not take control (“you must file a report,” “you have to tell your parents”);

– do not minimize (“there are people who have it worse”).

The responsibility always lies with the perpetrator.

The victim is never to blame for the violence committed against them.

Silence is a consequence of trauma, not a sign of weakness.